Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Venting: Sometimes I feel like I'm failing this test

How do people with multiple children survive when they are ALL sick? I just don't know, but I want what they've got. I think I've probably got to start doing a lot more praying, and a lot less relying on my own personal strength. I really don't have too much of that these days. Jose started out sick, and he is still hacking away at night unable to sleep. Then Mirabel got sick, and that was much worse. I felt so bad for her, she just refused to sleep. Now she is better, but is still waking up with cough attacks at night. Then Friday night (thankfully I'm the last one), I was shivering for a few hours, then sweating up a storm. I was hoping to sleep since Mirabel was having a good night, but a fever kept me up. I had bodyaches, sore throat, and a fever for 2 days. Then I got the congestion and 2 migraines. I had a feeling I was getting a sinus infection because of how much strange looking phlegm I was hacking up (sorry for the graphic description)! I went to the doc and he said he wasn't sure if it was a sinus infection or virus, so he said to just hold on to the meds until I got worse. Well, fast forward 2 hours past the doc appointment and my fever goes up to 101.6 (and it was my 4th day with a fever). It hasn't been that high this whole time. So I decided I probably have an infection. All night I've had a fever, and Mirabel decided she wanted to wake up 5 times to eat. She is not very happy these days. She loves her dad, but I think she knows something is up with me. She starts crying when she's with him and then she stops when I hold her. But I'm shivering cold most of the time, coughing, or blowing my nose so it's not easy to console her, or carry her around when I'm exhausted myself. Thankfully, Jose is done with his finals so he can help out more, but he is working on a probono project, so he'll be gone half the day today :/. I worry about how much motrin/tylenol I'm taking because I know it goes to the baby, but I'm only able to take care of Mirabel when I'm not feverish (it's one of those fevers that makes you want to hide under 10 layers of blankets, and even that's not enough). These antibiotics should start working soon, though. I just pray I don't get bronchitis again. I don't have the best lungs, thanks to asthma, and I usually end up on steroids when I get sick like this. Again, I'm more worried about Mirabel ingesting it. They say it's safe to take when BFing, but c'mon, there is no such thing as benign medication :(. I hope this is all over before Christmas!

On a positive note, it started snowing yesterday! Just in time for Christmas. It's beautiful outside!


Sarah said...

What a yucky way to start your holidays! I pray you are doing better. Yes, prayer is pretty much all you've got left when you + the whole house is sick.

I don't think you should look at it as failing though. You are living through it, and it's not always easy and sometimes no fun at all. But failing would be throwing up your hands and leaving the building, leaving your life.

You will cry, you will be exhausted, you will sometimes fall asleep while the baby is on your clock. But that is not failing. Your heart is still in the game and doing a fine job.

This is the hardest job I know of, and this hiccup of bad health is all part of it. Keep your chin up, your heart on God and he will carry you through.

I hope you have a Merry Christmas and that you are going to blessed with some good health soon!

Tracy said...

Oh, no, Sophie... sick for the holidays--not fun! :o( Be taking good care, and do hope you will be feeling better very soon and able to enjoy the holidays while they're here. It must be so exciting Mirabel & Christmas. :o) LOVE & JOY to all of you! Wishing you all the happiest holiday season & all the very best in 2011! ((HUGS))

Anonymous said...

Sophie, I think we all feel like we are failing from time to time. Someone once told me that we don't fail until we actually quit trying.

Thanks for the reminder to keep asking the Lord for strength. I forget that at times and think I that I too have to get it all done and keep it all together.

You are a wonderful woman of God! Praying for you (even though I already know you are feeling better from your most recent post).

Merry Christmas!

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