Thursday, May 16, 2013

Facebook life

I recently saw a comment about how people portray their lives as being perfect on social networking sites, like Facebook.  I've even heard people say that these status updates/tweets can breed unhappiness.  But you know what?  To those cynics I say: you're only fooling yourself.  Last time I checked, everyone has problems.  Big or small, they are there.  I'm pretty sure that other people cannot cause unhappiness simply by discussing their own happy moments in a simple status update.  They're just that, after all, status updates.  What's going on right now. Who wants to hear about diaper blowouts?  Literally and figuratively.  I've got plenty of poop that needs wiping up.  But when I do want to share something, or create a hard copy of a funny thought or precious and fleeting moment, I want it to be worth pondering, laughing about, and/or remembering.
I talk a lot about my kids on Facebook, because right now, they're all I read, watch, and smell.  I'm a stay at home mom, after all.  It's not a glamourous job all the time (eventually, I like eating something other than bon bons while sitting on the couch, so I do cook for fun, too), but it's a job I consider myself blessed to have.  Ok, so I do take a few moments to myself (that's why I don't shower as often as I used to, pre-kids HA!).  Sometimes I even spend more than 5 minutes on my hair.  But usually, I'm thinking about them.  It might seem like too much, but I'll tell you--it's really changed my perspective on quite a few things, like...
The funny--I hide candy now.  I feel guilty about sneaking into the closet under our stairs to take a bite of chocolate (the same chocolate I hid from Mirabel after the Valentine's Day Father-Daughter dance at church).  Because I don't want her to have cavities, of course!  I think I need to ask Jose to hide it from me, because I'm the one with a crown, and it's not because I'm queen of this house.
Truth--I actually eat more vegetables now that I have children.  Nursing one baby and trying to convince a toddler that vegetables are healthy, I think about what I eat more than I used to.  Also, I need to stay healthy, because who will take care of them when I'm sick?  ME!  And taking care of kids when you're sick is the hardest job, next to being a navy seal.
The funny--I've learned how to master the art of sleeping while holding on to the edge of the bed and not rolling over.  Why?  Because, somehow, a baby that's 1/4 my size takes up so much space on a king size bed.
Truth--I never took naps until I had kids.  I do it because I'm a better mom when I'm not sleep deprived.  Oh yes, and I'll live longer (and that's important, I want to be around for the grandkids--one of the best parts!).
The funny--I'm pretty sure Mirabel is going to be an opera singer.  I am also amazed that I can still hear Juliette crying with the bathroom door closed while I'm showering downstairs and the baby monitor is turned off, in spite of and on top of Mirabel's screaming.
Truth--Man, I've never paid attention to song lyrics so much in my life!  Even the tune of a song can get me nervous, these days.  A rough sounding rap song came on while we were listening to music via our TV from our computer's playlist and I was convinced I was gonna have to change it!!!  Turns out it was a Christian rap song LOL.  One of Jose's favorite songs.  But yes, I really pay attention to what I listen to, or even watch.  I thought my parents were overprotective while I was growing up, though they did take it to the extreme, I can understand their paranoia a little bit more now.
The funny--This sounds weird.  I don't mean acting as in a theatre production, though sometimes I do fake cry to get Mirabel to obey me (because she does have an empathetic side).  And she is quite the drama queen herself.  But I mean actions, as in verbs.  I guess this would qualify as "drama production" acting, since I do take my own version of an intermission.  Usually I do this after a very dramatic production.  I give myself a time out. 
Truth-- I've learned how to hold back and give more.  You can call this acting, I call it not unleashing my inner sinful human.  I'm still terrible at it.  Awful, even.  I've learned that yelling on top of yelling just make a lot of...noise.  Sometimes I have to force myself to hug my kid when she's screaming at the top of her lungs and having a fit because two legs can't fit into one pant leg, or the right shoe can't fit on the left foot.  Sometimes saying "QUIET" really loudly is not a good idea, but a hug is.  Even when I don't feel like hugging because I've been holding someone all day.  But we both feel better afterward.
The funny...Ok, there really aren't too many funny moments I can think of to give an example of this one.  Ok, I've learned how to forgive myself when I can't wash all the dishes in the sink before going to bed at night.  Wait, that's not funny (that's kinda pathetic actually).
The truth: You know that word grace?  Oh, I knew it but I didn't really KNOW it until I had children.  I'm not saying that I've had to learn how to show more grace to other people.  There's always room for improvement there.  But I never really considered what it meant to show myself grace...

Growing up, I had this Disneyland idea of motherhood.  I'd be able to get on all the rides because I'd be tall enough (i.e., I'd be able to handle every obstacle/roller coaster with grace and a smile on my face).  Every night would end with a perfect view of the Electrical Parade down on Main Street, as planned.  There'd be a schedule, and all the shows would start on time. It was a very idealized view.  I have a pretty good understanding, now, of why I had this view of motherhood.  But I don't live in a magical kingdom, never have and never will.  I did meet my prince charming, but we're still learning what it means to live happily ever after, with kids. 

I might be able to compare my experience as a mom to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, just a little.  My two kids do take on each of their personalities quite well, but I've never been able to sleep as soundly as Snow White, that's for sure.  There are some days I feel like Cinderella, cleaning the house with my two little mice and running out the door with only one shoe on. Motherhood is definitely "a whole new world...".  But Jose has learned not to say, "don't you dare close your eyes," because, sometimes, you've just gotta look the other way and pretend like that kid who's licking the bottom of someone's shoe (and enjoying it) isn't yours.  I view my daughters as princesses, that's for sure, but not in a fairytale.  I'm not their fairy godmother.  I cannot change a pumpkin into a beautiful horse-drawn carriage.  But. That. Is. OK. I'm going to make mistakes and cry like a baby in front of them when I've had enough (even though I'm supposed to be the adult). These are the moments you won't see advertised on facebook.  HA!  They are very real because I am very real and not a Disney character.  I just like to document the good times, the random photos, the funny phrases, so that I know what to keep my focus on.  When my 2 year old says that her sister is her best friend, it makes me feel like I'm not doing such a bad job after all!

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