Monday, February 20, 2012

A real love song

I love this song. It reminded me of my hubby when I first heard it :). Enjoy. Lyrics below.

Next To Me by Emeli Sande

you won't find him drinking at the tables
rolling dice and staying out til 3
you won't ever find him being unfaithful
you will find him, you'll find him next to me

you won't find him trying to chase the devil
for money, fame, for power, out of grief
you won't ever find him where the rest go
you will find him, you'll find him next to me

next to me ooooh
next to me ooooh
next to me ooooh
you will find him, you'll find him next to me

when the end has come and buildings falling down fast
when we spoilt the land and dried up all the sea
when everyone has lost their heads around us
you will find him you'll find him next to me

never in my life have i met someone like him
i'm blown away by his love for me
if you ever wonder where it is you'll find him
you will find him, you will find him next to me
next to me ooooh
next to me ooooh
next to me ooooh
you will find him you'll find him next to me

when the money's spent and all my friends have vanished
and i can't seem to find no help or love for free
i know there's no need for me to panic
cause i'll find him, i'll find him next to me

when the skies are grey and all the doors are closing
and the rising pressure makes it hard to breathe
well, all i need is a hand to stop the tears from falling
i will find him, will find him next to me

next to me ooooh
next to me ooooh
next to me ooooh
you will find him you'll find him next to me

Friday, February 17, 2012

3 months

Yesterday's ultrasound went smoothly. The baby is measuring right on target. Thankfully, all is well. The only unordinary discovery was a sac with a little white dot in it. The ultrasound tech mentioned it might've been a twin that didn't develop. She wasn't sure; then the radiologist said the same thing. They said it could be a random fluid-filled sac, but they still weren't sure about the white spot. So they just said to mention any unordinary symptoms to my doc, like bleeding. So far, there isn't anything to report.

If it is a vanishing twin, it will probably be reabsorbed. I looked at 5 week ultrasound images online, and mine looked pretty similar yesterday.

Made me think. I thought it was interesting that my HCG levels rose so rapidly in the beginning; the doctor said they were supposed to have doubled during the given timeframe, and they more than quadrupled. (Is that normal?) I also remember mentioning to my doc that I'd had pain on both sides, instead of just one side--which could've signaled double ovulation. Interesting thought. Sad, yes.

I've thought about what could've been, or what might've happened. But now I'm even more thankful for what I have. I can't imagine having lost this one, too. It's always been one of my biggest fears--miscarriage. Seeing that sac felt like looking at an empty bird's nest. Like a home had been abandoned too soon. But this baby was so giddy and appeared so healthy that if it was a loss, I really can't dwell on it. It's different because I didn't expect two in the beginning. Usually these losses happen because of possible genetic defects. I wonder if God was just sparing it from a life of pain and illness? Not that that should stop a life from blossoming, but this particular life was not meant to continue. All the sickness I've been feeling (and I'm much better now, thankfully) is nothing, really. That's what I think every time I see these ultrasound pics :). I can't believe this baby is only 2 inches long! Love this profile image. I even got to see it suck its thumb. Then it fell asleep. So sweet.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

22 Facts and Questions

11 Random Facts (I was tagged by Amanada. These are fun, haven't done one in awhile.)
...and I'm tagging Ali, Jenny, and Sarah. I think that's all the folks who read my blog, other than Amanda. My questions for you all are at the bottom. Basically, give me 11 random facts about yourself and answer my 11 random questions :).

1. When asked this type of question (random fact), I almost always begin by stating that I went to 13 different schools growing up. That in itself has influenced so much of who I am/my relationships/my approach to life: I don't have time for fakeness. Sometimes I am too candid, I know. :)

2. I used to always dream about/romanticize the possibility of living somewhere cold and snowy. After living in Boston for 3 years, that's no longer an issue :).

3. Marriage used to seem like such a far off thing. I never thought I'd be married until I was at least 30. I also thought I wouldn't be able to have children. Then I got married at 23 and had my first kid at 26! Don't regret a thing.

4. People usually talk about how scary it is raising a girl. Honestly, I feel more intimidated at the thought of raising a boy. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have met so many disappointing men throughout my life. I welcome the possibility but view it as a great responsibility. I'm honored to have it, but hope I do it right. I guess you can call this a fear. I'm married to a wise man, though. A real man, at that. I know that's definitely a good start.

5. I've written over 500 poems throughout my life. Most of them are terrible; I'd say about 97% aren't very good. I've never been able to write a long story, though.

6. Math intimidates me (a lot). That's not a big secret. I wish I was good at it, because there are so many great careers that heavily involve it. (For instance, I like planets. Wish I could be an astronomer. ;) I know I can change my feelings, but it will take time.

7. When I first started baking, I'd always leave out the salt even if a recipe called for it... One of the worst things I could've done. Things tasted so flat. I thought 1/2 tsp of salt couldn't make that much of a difference. Turns out, it can make or break the recipe! Salt is key! :)

8. On spirituality: Some people struggle to believe in God. For some reason, that has never been an issue for me. I have struggled a lot with the modern day approach to Christianity, though. This is disappointing to admit, but some of the worst people I know are "Christians". It makes me sad, but I know God is even more troubled by this fact. I try. So please, if I ever say anything/do anything on this blog that is contrary to what you think Christ would do, please point it out. I can agree with these "religious views" I once came across on a Facebook profile: "Jesus is going to come back and say, 'That's not what I meant.'"

9. On a lighter note :), my itunes playlist is very much outdated. No matter how hard I "try" to find new, good music, I only add a few songs to it every month. I don't know if my music preferences have changed all that much. I feel like music just isn't as good as it used to be.

10. I've always wanted a sister. I have a brother, and I love him dearly, but I feel like a good/healthy sister bond can't compete with even the best of friendships.

11. My husband likes chocolate more than I do. I guess you can say that's more of a random fact about him, but I prefer more "vanilla-y" desserts, like creme brulee or yellow cake with strawberries and cream.

Amanda's 11 questions for her tagged audience:

What makes you happy? Healthy family relationships, spiritually and humanly speaking.

What can you never get enough of? Family you see a pattern here? ;)

What's your favorite time of the day? When my husband gets home. Also, the morning. I love stepping outside early in the morning, especially when the air feels cool and crisp.

What's your favorite time of the year? Christmas and Valentine's Day. But if we're back East, Fall and Spring.

Is there a time in your life you wish you could live over? Parts of my childhood.

Something you have seen in the last 24 hours that is beautiful: My family interact with Mirabel. So glad she is close to her grandparents.

Something you wish you did more of: Pray and sleep... and create things.

Something that you do really well: Talk LOL

Something you've made that you are proud of: Mirabel and Gluten Free Pastries. Same difference. HA :)!

You just won a free trip to anywhere in the world. Where do you go? This is really tough. I feel like I don't know enough about the beautiful, remote places of the world to answer this fairly. But I do think it would be cool to visit some of the Holy Cities. Realistically speaking, though, maybe the countryside somewhere in Italy. But I'd be sure to get Anthony Bourdain's advice about it first :).

What celebrity do you think you could be good friends with given the chance? This is also tough to answer because I don't read-up on celebrities that much to know about their personalities. So I'll answer this based on who I admire in the talent department. I think Rosie Thomas is an interesting, talented character. She is a singer/songwriter by day and comedian by night. Unique combo because her songs can be so heartfelt and serious... I usually view comedians as folks who don't take life too seriously, but I guess I'm giving into a stereotype there. She could prove me wrong, though.

Here are two of my favorite songs by her, again, from my college-dated playlist:

Now here are my 11 questions for you:
1. What's your favorite childhood memory?
2. How many careers do you hope to have in your life?
3. What are the top 3 books you've read in 2011?
4. What are your 3 favorite songs?
5. Who is the first person you run to when you've got good news to share?
6. When is the last time you cried and why?
7. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
8. What's the best joke you know? :)
9. Do you sing in the shower or when you're home alone (or dance, instead)?
10. What cable channel do you find yourself watching the most--if you watch tv?
11. What is your favorite classic book?

Friday, February 3, 2012

Baby feet

...I love them. I love putting shoes on them, and I have a collection of baby shoes. Mirabel's always stylin'. Here's a pair for the next little one. Yes, I know they're a little bit gender specific. But, hey, I'm a girl and I'd wear them :).


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