Wednesday, January 12, 2011

...Sometimes I forget

I accidentally missed the OB appointment that I mentioned awhile back. Yep, just outright forgot. Which is really funny, considering a little over a year ago I wouldn't have dared to miss such an appointment. It was scheduled during the time we were all sick; we were so caught up in just trying to feel better that it simply slipped my mind. I finally got around to rescheduling yesterday; it's set for Monday the 31st.

I guess I'm not as excited about going this time because I have an idea of what they're going to tell me: that I need to wait before I can take any meds, since my body is in somewhat of a dormant state, and I'm still EBFing Mirabel (even at night, that girl loves her midnight snack--or snacks :P!).

I've been doing some research. It seems that what might've happened with Clomid the last time is that I O'd late. So I'm wondering if maybe I can take a few trigger shots (HCG shots), so that I don't have to sit around twiddling my thumbs. I really don't want to take a higher dose of Clomid, considering how bad the migraines were the last time I took it (before Mirabel). Oh, the speculations. I really don't like this part. Which is why I'm setting some rules for myself this time. I'm not going to do more than 3 rounds, and I won't do anything invasive; no IVF, no ovarian drilling (what I'd considered before). It's just not necessary.

In the end, I just want more children. How God brings them to us is up to him. Who am I to request a date or method of delivery? Saying this brings me a sense of relief. Knowing we will adopt also gives me a lot of hope. Why? Because I know that if the infertility treatment doesn't work, there will still be someone who needs a mom and I'd be happy to fill that need. Of course, that it is a lot easier to say now that we have Mirabel. But that doesn't mean we're done and that God is done answering our prayers for children.

Also, if I'm going to invest a ton of emotional energy into researching the many ways we can add to our family, I'd rather investigate the option that leads to better (more certain) outcomes. So if we don't have a due date within these next 2 years, we will just adopt earlier than we initially thought. Like I said, that doesn't really mean I'm putting a timeframe on all of this. If God decides to bring another little one into our lives at some unexpected time, in some miraculous way, we certainly wouldn't protest :). Honestly, the more the merrier...up to about 5 (my last name isn't Duggar, after all ;).


Anonymous said...

I am so excited for you about all of this!

What is funny is that I have been thinking so many of the same thoughts as you. I am pretty sure I ovulated late on my last clomid--good thing I didn't take the progestrone like they said too--and was blessed with E. It is kinda overwhelming to think about how to get pregnant again and all that RE stuff but I too have been thinking that I will put stipulations on it and that I really am OK with adopting.

Finally, you are a better woman than I. You have been up now every night for the last 7-8 months and you are thinking about another one. Boy oh boy, I am not there yet. I will be praying for God's direction for you and Jose. You are a wonderful mom Sophie Duggar. ;)

Sarah said...

You have such a positive attitude, that is great. Is there a chance you won't have to do any treatments? I have a friend who had to go through everything you did the first time, but her doc said 2nd time around won't be as bad, and turns out she needed nothing.

You are very brave! I couldn't think of another one until I was sleeping through the night. Well, I couldn't think very well while getting up at night perhaps that was it.

I love her sweet pictures in your last post! Such chunky goodness.

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