Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Almost 3

I'd say some of my toughest mom moments, so far, happened while I was pregnant with Juliette.  Mirabel was a wild and lively toddler who loved to run away, and run even faster as her very pregnant mother chased after her (praying she wouldn't fall on her stomach!).  It was a crazy time.  Even though I have 2 kids, 2 and under, it's much easier now.
But EASY is never a word I'd use to describe motherhood.  At all.  Easier, ok.  That'll do, but not easy.  
Mirabel and Juliette are like fire and water.  Juliette just sits there with a smile on her face, watching her older sister (very impressed).  And who wouldn't be?  Mirabel can dance to any beat (that she likes, and she is very particular about what music she likes).  Mirabel confidently sings songs she doesn't know the words to--and she's teaching me how to do the same.  Ah, Motherhood: Making things up as you go along, and praying for the right words to come along.
I've got a kid that leaves me at a loss for words, that's for sure, and I mean that in every way possible.  I've found that in some situations, silence is the best option.  Got a kid screaming in the back seat because her sock isn't rolled up, and her pant isn't perfectly tucked into her faux pink leather boot, just the way she wants it?  Silence.  Because even if you tell her that as soon as you stop the car, you can solve her gigantic problem, she'll keep making the same request (very loudly), over and over.  If only it were always this simple, both now and later, really.  But right now, thankfully, I can solve most of her problems that give way to ear-piercing/screaming demands.
We're both learning how to use words to express our complex feelings and requests.  Who doesn't want their favorite song to come on the radio right away, even when they've heard it a million and one times already?  I wish I could listen to my favorite song every time I turned on the radio, that's for sure (well, thanks to MP3 players, I can... but still :).  
Guess what?  It's gotten easier. There's only one request that makes me happier than hearing a very curly haired 2 1/2 year old ask me to help her use the potty (yes, it's finnnnally happening!  3 days in a row!), and that request is, "Hug and kiss?".  Not just in the morning, not just before bedtime, but at very random times of the day.  
She doesn't have those sweet fluffy rolls anymore; Mirabel is practically a string bean.  She was the baby I'd wear in an infant carrier so that I could cook dinner, that's how much she used to love being held.  I remember looking forward to the day she could walk, just so my scrawny bones could have a break.  (I'm pretty sure the running-away-from-mom thing she did while I was pregnant was payback for that ;).)  Why stay in someone's arms when you can run free?  But I don't want her to feel so free that she doesn't need her mom anymore.  
Now her feet dangle past my knees when she asks me to pick her up for a hug and kiss.  Many recent situations have shown me that she would not feel so free if she didn't feel secure in my love for her.  I have failed many times, but when she comes back to me even though she knows how to run away, I know that God is working on my heart to be the best mother to Mirabel that I can be.  Not the best mother ever, no.  I just want her to feel secure and know that even though I can't make her favorite song come on the radio each time I start the car, and I can't fix her socks while I'm driving, and I can't buy her a cheeseburger every day, I'm never to busy to give her a hug and kiss.  
There will come a day when I won't be able to pick her up, but I pray that God gives me the wisdom to give her the kind of love that lifts her up so that her fiery spirit feels free to run with him beside her throughout life.

1 comments:

Amanda said...

I've been a lazy commenter lately, but I wanted to let you know I love the stuff you posted about the land you were buying and your house to be.

Your girls are such cute little jewels. Parenting is so much more challenging than I ever imagined and having 2 would make things even more challenging. Good for you for balancing all of that and working on being there for them. I hope it gets a little easier, but all the color and excitement and love are a nice trade off even when it isn't so easy :)

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