3 months

Yesterday's ultrasound went smoothly. The baby is measuring right on target. Thankfully, all is well. The only unordinary discovery was a sac with a little white dot in it. The ultrasound tech mentioned it might've been a twin that didn't develop. She wasn't sure; then the radiologist said the same thing. They said it could be a random fluid-filled sac, but they still weren't sure about the white spot. So they just said to mention any unordinary symptoms to my doc, like bleeding. So far, there isn't anything to report.

If it is a vanishing twin, it will probably be reabsorbed. I looked at 5 week ultrasound images online, and mine looked pretty similar yesterday.

Made me think. I thought it was interesting that my HCG levels rose so rapidly in the beginning; the doctor said they were supposed to have doubled during the given timeframe, and they more than quadrupled. (Is that normal?) I also remember mentioning to my doc that I'd had pain on both sides, instead of just one side--which could've signaled double ovulation. Interesting thought. Sad, yes.

I've thought about what could've been, or what might've happened. But now I'm even more thankful for what I have. I can't imagine having lost this one, too. It's always been one of my biggest fears--miscarriage. Seeing that sac felt like looking at an empty bird's nest. Like a home had been abandoned too soon. But this baby was so giddy and appeared so healthy that if it was a loss, I really can't dwell on it. It's different because I didn't expect two in the beginning. Usually these losses happen because of possible genetic defects. I wonder if God was just sparing it from a life of pain and illness? Not that that should stop a life from blossoming, but this particular life was not meant to continue. All the sickness I've been feeling (and I'm much better now, thankfully) is nothing, really. That's what I think every time I see these ultrasound pics :). I can't believe this baby is only 2 inches long! Love this profile image. I even got to see it suck its thumb. Then it fell asleep. So sweet.